Let Go

Build yourself with lies,
And spread the disease only you can cure.
Your fading shadow lights the future.

When the sun has set
Your distant soul will be lost
In the depths of your super-ego.
Hold yourself back under the collapsing tower.
Accelerate up to nowhere.
Let go and sink lower.

Push the limit.
Break through.
And soak up the sun of reality
I cannot let…
No, I will not let
You drag me back to this living hell
With your false sense of gravity.

- broken_optimist

So i was talking to Nicole today after our softball game (which we lost thanks to no offense.  At least i got 3 hits and scored twice), and she was telling me how busy she has been taking classes and volunteering.  I realized that i should take my own advice and actually do something.  I’m going to start going out more, and when i don’t, i want to accomplish more at home.  This means: fewer video games and more studying/writing, drawing, and photography.  Notice how i said “fewer” video games.  I don’t think i could give ‘em up.  I’m way too addicted. 

Anyway, yesterday was a good start because i opened up my early birthday present (colored pencils), and started messing around with blending colors and such.  And finally, i came up with my new project.  I’m going to be doing more of that stuff.  PLUS, i’m giong to work out more…  including tonight, even after softball, and even though i’ve been sick.  Go me.

I’m taking next Friday off for my birthday, which is actually Thursday, but because i get President’s Day off, i have a…  Woo Hoo!  Four day weekend! 

I still have no idea what i’m going to do for my birthday.  I have no plans, and i don’t think anyone is going to plan anything for me.  Maybe i’ll just go out to dinner after softball.  I hope my birthday doesn’t suck as bad as previous years.  I think my favorite birthday disaster was my 21st… which involved a broken condom and searching for a hospital to get the morning after pill.  Ahhh, the good old days.

On a positive note, Jasmine actually noticed that i wasn’t at work yesterday, and asked how i was doing.  That made my day.

I was bored so i was looking through some pics of my cute little monkey kittens, and since i haven’t posted any yet, i thought i’d put up a few.  Not to mention, kittens always make me feel better.

Hannibal

Clarisse

.

Hannibal & Clarisse

I took the day off from work today, because i have a monster headache and i feel like garbage.  At least i was able to find out more info about my New Zealand trip, so that it will soon become a reality. 

Thursday will be the first softball game, which should be fun if i feel better.  I don’t feel like writing anymore, so i’m going to go make pancakes for dinner.

Yosemite National Park                                7/1/04  &  7/2/04

From the top of Half Dome

An experiment in photography:

Xavier and i had a mini superbowl party, that was pretty fun, followed by some poker.  The only thing is, i didn’t eat anything but cookies, and snacks, and i was wired as hell on Dr. Pepper.  I am so frickin’ jittery, and damn…  i am crashing like a speed freak.  Tomorrow, i will most likely put up more photos, that i have been going through, from yosemite and half dome. 

Ugh, i have to go to dinner with that stupid Ed fuck (Mr. pile his work on everyone else because he’s lazy and takes advantage of people).  At least DNA chem will be there, and it will be free.  Damn, i gotta call Nicole to let her know i can’t do anything tomorrow.

And i’ll probably be going to a “singles” pre-valentine’s day party on saturday.  That should be interesting.  I get nervous when there is pressure like that…  like, i’m supposed to hook up with someone.  At least there will be people i know.  I’m so asocial.

I didn’t do anything today, except go for a run, clean the bathroom, go through papers, and play video games.  I did listen to some brilliant music though, so i guess it wasn’t a complete waste of a day. 

God, i still have runners high even though i ran an hour ago. 

I’m feeling a little more inspired after my run, so i thought that i’d post something that i was inspired to create.  This was Jordan’s 21st birthday present. 

The other day, i reminded myself of how weird i am.  I know that a lot of people sing along to their favorite songs.  Other people just hum the melody.  I, on the other hand, sing the instrumentals by imitating the guitars, bass, synthesizers, drums, or whatever instrument is being played.  I sing the lyrics too, but for some reason i love to sing the music.  No one really gets to hear my randomness though, because i only do it when i’m alone.

          Damn… Jasmine just walked by my desk.  It’s like summer here, and she is not afraid to act like it, with a short skirt and a tight top.  It’s not a slutty skirt and top though, it’s just right.

          Last night i stayed awake really late, because i had trouble falling asleep.  I know i was up at least past 2 am, and today, i am feeling it.  Tomorrow’s plans include sleeping in, getting drinks and food for the superbowl, and cleaning.  Still cleaning, goddamn it.

         Yesterday i got to see the kids, and i gave them a few riddles which they had fun with.  They’re currently stuck on the one with: a naked man is found in the middle of the desert with a stick in his hand.  What happened? 
         With a few hints Steve figured out the light switch one:
If you were stuck in a room with three light switches and there is only one door that leads to another room that has a single light bulb in it (and one of the switches in your room turns the light), how do you figure out which of the switches turns on the light if you can only open the door once to check the light bulb.  (You are allowed to flip the switches as much as you like, but as soon as the door is open,  you can’t touch them.  And no, you cannot look under the door, and no, there is no one to help you, and no, you cannot rip out the wiring or anything like that)

I love puzzles.  I need to find some new ones. 

Quote de jour:
When she found out that she had to make one extra phone call even though Rachelle and i offered to do it for her.

“I have to do everything.”  – Natasha

Today, i spent most of the day going to a vendor show for a big biotech company.  There weren’t a whole lot of people, so it was almost a one to one ratio, customers to sales-people.  It was pretty horrible, because any time i looked even remotely in their direction, the sales-people were all over me like flies.  I felt violated.
            Xavier pointed out that this must be what it’s like to be a hot single woman in a bar. 

“Hey baby, how you doin’?  You lookin’ to buy some latex gloves today?  Or maybe you need some PCR tubes.  That’s a nice pipettor you got there.”

Although, i must say, it was nice getting their free gifts like pens, flashlights, candy, notepads, and even a pen knife.  I stayed late for a raffle that you had to be present for in order to win, and there were only 7 people who showed up. When they were drawing the winner, they had to pick 8 tickets before they got to someone who was there.  And guess what?  It was me!  That’s right, i won a frickin’ PDA! 

God, i’m such a materialistic whore. 

Quote of the day:
(When i was wandering the booths, i got handed a million pieces literature, and i was reminded of this quote)

“When someone hands me a flier, it’s like they’re saying:   ‘Here, you throw this away.’”     
- Mitch Hedberg (stand up comedian)